There's a new client at work...
He has a friend named Andres that has been known to occasionally exert a bad influence on the client in question. Apparently Andres helped get him involved with drugs, and later with crime, assisting the client in some of his illegal hijinx. As it turns out, Andres doesn't actually exist. At least he doesn't exist in the mortal plane you and I now occupy. Now, I've had a lot of clients in my time, some highly functional, some not as much, but this is the first time that I've been around a person that doesn't exist, unless you count taking pictures with Santa at the mall when I was a kid. Add to that his interesting habit of standing around for about 30 seconds before responding to a question, and we've got a real challenge on our hands!
On Friday afternoon, while I was looking forward to the weekend, I was standing near the client not really saying or doing anything, and he turns to me and says, "He's taken pieces of me that I'll never get back." Then he turned and walked away. I may not forget that for a long time... "He's taken pieces of me that I'll never get back."
*shakes head*
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
The Birth Of Words
So Ansley was discussing on her blog whether or not it was alright to feel pride in your work... and I must admit that my first reaction was more along the lines of "well duhhh...." But that made me think about the meanings of the words that we have, that we use, or even don't use very often. There's an exchange in the Matrix Revolutions that makes me think about that. Neo is speaking to Rama, who is, in fact, a computer program:
They go on to discuss Rama's daughter, Sati, and how Rama is attempting to save her from her fate in the machine world, concluding with:
See, here's the thing. I'm bilingual, so I understand that words that we use are mere verbal constructs wrapped around an idea, thought, or concept that we're trying to communicate to another person. Words fail us. English is a delightful language, but can it really describe karma? There are words and phrases that I used often in Japanese that just don't translate into English. I imagine there are lots of things that work like that. I wonder why God made a world in which only small portions of the inhabitants are able to effectively communicate one with another? I speak the same language as my wife and we have a hard enough time seeing eye to eye as it is!
Neo: I just have never...
Rama-Kandra: ...heard a program speak of love?
Neo: It's a... human emotion.
Rama-Kandra: No, it is a word. What matters is the connection the word implies. I see that you are in love. Can you tell me what you would give to hold on to that connection?
Neo: Anything.
Rama-Kandra: Then perhaps the reason you're here is not so different from the reason I'm here.
They go on to discuss Rama's daughter, Sati, and how Rama is attempting to save her from her fate in the machine world, concluding with:
Rama-Kandra: That is our karma.
Neo: You believe in karma?
Rama-Kandra: Karma's a word. Like "love". A way of saying 'what I am here to do.' I do not resent my karma - I'm grateful for it. Grateful for my wonderful wife, for my beautiful daughter. They are gifts. And so I do what I must do to honour them.
See, here's the thing. I'm bilingual, so I understand that words that we use are mere verbal constructs wrapped around an idea, thought, or concept that we're trying to communicate to another person. Words fail us. English is a delightful language, but can it really describe karma? There are words and phrases that I used often in Japanese that just don't translate into English. I imagine there are lots of things that work like that. I wonder why God made a world in which only small portions of the inhabitants are able to effectively communicate one with another? I speak the same language as my wife and we have a hard enough time seeing eye to eye as it is!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Life or Something Like It.
I work, come home, spend time with the wife, and on the weekends we try to have a little adventure. I read, I think, and I play a bit. Sadly, I haven't blogged about it. My job makes me question my view of the world. This is not a bad thing. I like having a different sense of perspicacity. I ask myself questions I've never asked before, and I see things from a different view that I've never had to consider.
Things like:
When should a person be forgiven? I mean for doing truly awful things... The Doctrine & Covenants and Bible both say that there is no forgiveness in this world or the next for someone who commits murder... but I actually know some murderers now. Who am I to say they're not worthy of that? Where does mental illness come into play? Is there really such a limit to something like the atonement? The scriptures say yes but my heart doesn't seem to agree. I have no conclusion.
Are some people not worth the effort to help? I have a wide variety of clients who take their recovery and treatment to a varying degree of seriousness. Is it not more effective to spend more energy helping people that deserve it? But on the other hand, doesn't everyone deserve a chance... the same chance?
It may sound negative, but I like that I have a job that stretches and challenges me emotionally, professionally, educationally and mentally. My wife is glad that I work at a place that appreciates me, as opposed to a vampiric institution like Northwest Behavioral.
Things like:
When should a person be forgiven? I mean for doing truly awful things... The Doctrine & Covenants and Bible both say that there is no forgiveness in this world or the next for someone who commits murder... but I actually know some murderers now. Who am I to say they're not worthy of that? Where does mental illness come into play? Is there really such a limit to something like the atonement? The scriptures say yes but my heart doesn't seem to agree. I have no conclusion.
Are some people not worth the effort to help? I have a wide variety of clients who take their recovery and treatment to a varying degree of seriousness. Is it not more effective to spend more energy helping people that deserve it? But on the other hand, doesn't everyone deserve a chance... the same chance?
It may sound negative, but I like that I have a job that stretches and challenges me emotionally, professionally, educationally and mentally. My wife is glad that I work at a place that appreciates me, as opposed to a vampiric institution like Northwest Behavioral.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
New Toy.
So, I wheeled and dealed and canoodled and got myself a new iPod.
So you might be asking "Wait, didn't you already have one, goofball?" and the answer would be... Yeah, but this one is NEW. Old and busted versus new hotness. They retooled the iPod line, and this one had a couple cool new features for the same price ($300) as the one I got last year. The new iPod 5th Generations are thinner, lighter, come in a color other than white (finally), have a much larger COLOR LCD screen, can play VIDEO, and hold 10 gigs more than the original entry model... basically everything that made my iPod cool just got cooler. They're new enough that my old one was still selling for a decent price on ebay, so I made most of the purchase price of a new one from that. So now it's ticking away here as I upload my entire music collection. Gosh... these things are so cool! The saying is "I thought I was happy, then I got an iPod". I like being able to carry every song I've ever downloaded and every CD I ever listen to in a cool looking sleek device that weighs 4.8 ounces and is only .4 inches thick!
So you might be asking "Wait, didn't you already have one, goofball?" and the answer would be... Yeah, but this one is NEW. Old and busted versus new hotness. They retooled the iPod line, and this one had a couple cool new features for the same price ($300) as the one I got last year. The new iPod 5th Generations are thinner, lighter, come in a color other than white (finally), have a much larger COLOR LCD screen, can play VIDEO, and hold 10 gigs more than the original entry model... basically everything that made my iPod cool just got cooler. They're new enough that my old one was still selling for a decent price on ebay, so I made most of the purchase price of a new one from that. So now it's ticking away here as I upload my entire music collection. Gosh... these things are so cool! The saying is "I thought I was happy, then I got an iPod". I like being able to carry every song I've ever downloaded and every CD I ever listen to in a cool looking sleek device that weighs 4.8 ounces and is only .4 inches thick!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Much to my wife's chagrin
"So, what happens if they riot?"
In the event of a facility wide incident, I have been instructed to dispose of my keys and radio (though I never have a radio), and either barricade myself in the offices or try to get out of the facility. In the event that anyone is taken hostage, we will not be negotiated for. Federal law is that will be regarded as terrorist hostages, and the US government does not negotiate in those circumstances. Basically, there better never be a riot, and if there is, my co workers and I better never get cornered.
On the good side, our unit is segregated from general populace, so if there were a problem in the facility at large, most likely all of the inmates on our unit would want just as much as we do to get away from it. In the event that there were problems on the unit, my office is closest to the exit. Ha.
In the event of a facility wide incident, I have been instructed to dispose of my keys and radio (though I never have a radio), and either barricade myself in the offices or try to get out of the facility. In the event that anyone is taken hostage, we will not be negotiated for. Federal law is that will be regarded as terrorist hostages, and the US government does not negotiate in those circumstances. Basically, there better never be a riot, and if there is, my co workers and I better never get cornered.
On the good side, our unit is segregated from general populace, so if there were a problem in the facility at large, most likely all of the inmates on our unit would want just as much as we do to get away from it. In the event that there were problems on the unit, my office is closest to the exit. Ha.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
So, isn't it dangerous?
I get that question a bit. Isn't it dangerous? Do you feel safe? Aren't you worried someone will shank you?
Answer: I feel perfectly safe.
First of all, it's a minimum security facility, which means most all of the inmates aren't dangerous. Second of all, it's what Oregon calls a "release facility". Most inmates come here for the last year to six months of their sentence. I think it's better setup from most states where an inmate can go from total lockdown segregation to the streets overnight. It's like a warmup to getting released.
Second of all, if you know me, I'm a physically intimidating person. I probably have more inmates afraid of me than anything else. (I still have the beard and long hair, FYI) Combine that with the fact that touching me pretty much means a trip to the hole and 6 months more to their sentance, I haven't really heard of any inmate vs. staff violence since I've been in.
Third, most of them know I'm there to help THEM, not be a narc for the DOC. It's very much a give respect, get respect kind of thing. Respect is one of the chief currencies of the system. I think respect is so key because a lot of these men get fundamentally DISrespected because they've broken the law. Sure, this guy committed identity theft or that guy dealt smack, and so in society at large they get fundamentally disrespected. Sure, that's just common sense, but it's one reason why criminals re-offend... they never really get their membership in society back, once it's gone. I myself probably get more respect, and am better liked than average because I like to talk and joke around both on the floor and in my classes (yes, I teach classes). Humor and laughter are a little difficult to come by in prison, so if you can make people laugh and laugh at yourself, you'll be well liked. NOTE: this is different from being a smartass. There are plenty of those on the inside.
Ok, that covers that. What are some things you might like to hear about from my little world?
Answer: I feel perfectly safe.
First of all, it's a minimum security facility, which means most all of the inmates aren't dangerous. Second of all, it's what Oregon calls a "release facility". Most inmates come here for the last year to six months of their sentence. I think it's better setup from most states where an inmate can go from total lockdown segregation to the streets overnight. It's like a warmup to getting released.
Second of all, if you know me, I'm a physically intimidating person. I probably have more inmates afraid of me than anything else. (I still have the beard and long hair, FYI) Combine that with the fact that touching me pretty much means a trip to the hole and 6 months more to their sentance, I haven't really heard of any inmate vs. staff violence since I've been in.
Third, most of them know I'm there to help THEM, not be a narc for the DOC. It's very much a give respect, get respect kind of thing. Respect is one of the chief currencies of the system. I think respect is so key because a lot of these men get fundamentally DISrespected because they've broken the law. Sure, this guy committed identity theft or that guy dealt smack, and so in society at large they get fundamentally disrespected. Sure, that's just common sense, but it's one reason why criminals re-offend... they never really get their membership in society back, once it's gone. I myself probably get more respect, and am better liked than average because I like to talk and joke around both on the floor and in my classes (yes, I teach classes). Humor and laughter are a little difficult to come by in prison, so if you can make people laugh and laugh at yourself, you'll be well liked. NOTE: this is different from being a smartass. There are plenty of those on the inside.
Ok, that covers that. What are some things you might like to hear about from my little world?
Life in Prison
Okay, maybe I'll be able to do a bit of catch up here.
The biggest reason I haven't been posting much lately is my new job. Like I've mentioned earlier, I work at a minimum security correctional facility. It's a whole different world. So not only am I getting used to a new job, a new schedule (I was working graveyards before), but it's really a whole different world. I've gotten used to the job and schedule part, but the culture is a fascinating and new experience every day. I also work pretty long hours so when I come home I pretty much just kiss the wife, eat some dinner, talk, and go to bed. I love my job so far... I get to use my education, feel like I'm making a difference, and have the satisfaction that comes with feeling like I do my job well.
So I figure the best thing for me to do will be to try and cover one little thing at a time. I'll knock one of those posts out tonight after dinner.
The biggest reason I haven't been posting much lately is my new job. Like I've mentioned earlier, I work at a minimum security correctional facility. It's a whole different world. So not only am I getting used to a new job, a new schedule (I was working graveyards before), but it's really a whole different world. I've gotten used to the job and schedule part, but the culture is a fascinating and new experience every day. I also work pretty long hours so when I come home I pretty much just kiss the wife, eat some dinner, talk, and go to bed. I love my job so far... I get to use my education, feel like I'm making a difference, and have the satisfaction that comes with feeling like I do my job well.
So I figure the best thing for me to do will be to try and cover one little thing at a time. I'll knock one of those posts out tonight after dinner.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I've just signed the ONE Declaration committing myself to help fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty.
The first thing I'm doing is asking you to make that commitment, too.
ONE is a new effort by Americans to rally Americans - one by one. So far, over two million have signed the declaration in support of a historic pact for compassion and justice to help the poorest people of the world.
I think your name belongs on that declaration, too. You can put it there by visiting:
www.one.org
This is Bono's (and many other people's) charity cause. Over 2 million people have joined and are active. In two year's time, there will be more members in the One campaign than the NRA. To me, that's not a bad thing. I'm a pretty big fan of activism in any form but extreme.
I'm sorry I've not been writing... work has me so busy... and when I sit, there's so much to write or say, I can't tackle it. Went and saw U2 and Kanye West last night, it was awesome.
The first thing I'm doing is asking you to make that commitment, too.
ONE is a new effort by Americans to rally Americans - one by one. So far, over two million have signed the declaration in support of a historic pact for compassion and justice to help the poorest people of the world.
I think your name belongs on that declaration, too. You can put it there by visiting:
www.one.org
This is Bono's (and many other people's) charity cause. Over 2 million people have joined and are active. In two year's time, there will be more members in the One campaign than the NRA. To me, that's not a bad thing. I'm a pretty big fan of activism in any form but extreme.
I'm sorry I've not been writing... work has me so busy... and when I sit, there's so much to write or say, I can't tackle it. Went and saw U2 and Kanye West last night, it was awesome.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Am I the only one...
Am I the only one who thinks my friend Lumina:
And famous singer/songwriter Carole King:
Bear a certain resemblance?
Different hair color and slightly different coloring... but I guess the strong female jewish artist has a few other prominant genes that go around...
And famous singer/songwriter Carole King:
Bear a certain resemblance?
Different hair color and slightly different coloring... but I guess the strong female jewish artist has a few other prominant genes that go around...
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Inane mumblings
I find that when confronted with an uncomfortable situation, it's best to say something completely random and silly, preferably from a movie made in the 1980's. However, it's important to note that when quoting movies, you AVOID the evil that is Monty Python, Princess Bride, Napoleon Dynamite, or any other overly popular movie in LDS circles. The only major exception would possibly be Office Space, which I don't think can possibly be quoted too much. While primping in the vestry, waiting for the wedding to start, I heard one of Aud's friends say something about being the gatekeeper and keeping me from seeing her, so I naturally replied with:
They stared at me like I'd sprouted a new head right at that moment, out of my shoulder. I kind of wished Zannah had been there, she would have laughed a lot.
Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
They stared at me like I'd sprouted a new head right at that moment, out of my shoulder. I kind of wished Zannah had been there, she would have laughed a lot.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
The Wedding: postgame report
Everything went better than planned. It was an ultimate best case scenario. I'll tell you all about it when we get home.
Highlights:
The service! So sweet and wonderful.
Our friends all came! Emily Potter took a bus from MONTANA, and suprised me in my basement the day before!
The food at Sanborn's! I had the vegetarian lasagna! It was wonderful!
The cake! It was awesome!
The music! Jai and his jazz trio set the perfect mood.
My beautiful bride, Audrey. I'm so in love with her.
Highlights:
The service! So sweet and wonderful.
Our friends all came! Emily Potter took a bus from MONTANA, and suprised me in my basement the day before!
The food at Sanborn's! I had the vegetarian lasagna! It was wonderful!
The cake! It was awesome!
The music! Jai and his jazz trio set the perfect mood.
My beautiful bride, Audrey. I'm so in love with her.
Friday, November 11, 2005
I'm getting married in the morning...
I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Pull out the stopper,
Let's have a whopper!
But get me to the church on time.
I've got to be there in the morning,
Spruced up and looking in my prime,
Girls come and kiss me,
Show how you'll miss me,
But get me to the church on time.
If I am flying,
Then shoot me down,
If I am wooing,
Get her out of town!
Oh, I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Kick up a rumpus,
But don't lose the compass
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
For Gawd's sake,
Get me to the church, on time!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
'mo Prison
First thing I noticed about prison? It's clean. The only place I've ever worked at that was cleaner would be the BYU art museum. If you read the introduction to the facility I copied below here, you'll notice that all inmates have to work... which means that there's lots of janitors and groundskeepers... honestly the place is cleaner than most church buildings I've been to, and when you consider that 600 men live there, that's a pretty decent achievement.
There's funny rules. I can't wear denim or blue (that's what the inmates wear), and I'm not allowed to intervene or dicipline or anything (a major change from my last social work job). It makes this a sweet opportunity to actually focus on just being a counselor, not merely a babysitter... we have the department of corrections for that. I'm not allowed to wear a tie, since it's a handy weapon.
Next reaction: these are nice guys. Most of them want to be in the program there. Naturally there's the occasional flareup, but it's very different from the adolescent facility I worked at. It's funny to think that I can get a room of 60+ mentally ill and addict felons to behave better than the kids at Northwest. Interestingly enough, there's not a lot of difference between the populations. My boss says the only differences are 20-30 years, facial hair, and a felony.
Anyway, I'm really tired... and there's too much more to say.
There's funny rules. I can't wear denim or blue (that's what the inmates wear), and I'm not allowed to intervene or dicipline or anything (a major change from my last social work job). It makes this a sweet opportunity to actually focus on just being a counselor, not merely a babysitter... we have the department of corrections for that. I'm not allowed to wear a tie, since it's a handy weapon.
Next reaction: these are nice guys. Most of them want to be in the program there. Naturally there's the occasional flareup, but it's very different from the adolescent facility I worked at. It's funny to think that I can get a room of 60+ mentally ill and addict felons to behave better than the kids at Northwest. Interestingly enough, there's not a lot of difference between the populations. My boss says the only differences are 20-30 years, facial hair, and a felony.
Anyway, I'm really tired... and there's too much more to say.
This is where my office is.
(from the website)
"Columbia River Correctional Institution (CRCI) is a 540 bed minimum security facility which was constructed on a 26 acre site in Northeast Portland. Located in the largest metropolitan area of the state, this facility is a combined restitution, alcohol/drug treatment center, and release facilty. The facility provides a full range of correctional services and programs which directly support the Department of Corrections primary mission. These include: A 50 bed residential Alcohol and Drug Treatment Program, called Turning Point, and a 50 bed dual-diagnosis Mental Health Treatment Unit, called Bridgepoint, operating under a contract with a private provider. CRCI also has basic adult education, life skills and job readiness training. Restitution and Community Service work programs for 400 inmates, with assignment to public service crews. The institution employs 120 FTE general funded staff and approximately 50 staff provided under contracted services. CRCI has strong "community oriented" programming for inmates and utilizes a large number of community volunteers in its programs. Inmates residing at Columbia River Correctional Institution are required and expected to work. To that end, work crews are formed and subsequently employed by many public agencies, organizations and private businesses throughout the greater Tri-County area."
That's the basic intro to the facility, I'll now write a reaction and feelings entry... somehow I think keeping them separate is a good idea at the moment.
That's the basic intro to the facility, I'll now write a reaction and feelings entry... somehow I think keeping them separate is a good idea at the moment.
Friday, October 28, 2005
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