This weekend I spent time at a friend's place, under the pretenses of making christmas cards, but what it really turned into was a fairly intense spiritual discussion. What we know, what is true, what we don't know, what we don't understand. I came away from it not feeling very good. There are so many things, so many big questions in life I am clueless about. I have a lot of big decisions to be making, and I'm not entirely sure how to go about figuring them out.
What do you look at while you're making up your mind? Ours is not a reflective culture, really, we do not raise our eyes up to the hills or bow to the east. Most of the time we decide the most critical things in our lives while staring at a linoleum floor of an institutional corridor or staring at the cheap industrial carpet of some waiting room while a television vomits nonsense.
I walked around my house seeking something, anything. My family didn't take many pictures while I was growing up, so there's not a lot to look back on. Sometimes my parents house feels like it could be anyone's, like anyone could live there. I guess I pace a lot when I'm trying to decide things, I'm not sure why. I guess I wonder how much I can change, how much I can effect, and how the world is going to be within the reach of my arm.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Progress Musically
We did finally end up going with "The 83" as our band name. Yes, there's only four of us. Hey, Ben Folds Five only had three guys, get off my back.
Last night "The 83" played our ward's Christmas party. It wasn't that big a deal, but it was 300 people who at least didn't throw their catered dinners at us. I came away from it feeling sparked. We played well, played tight, and I felt good about my stage presence and energy. I was genuinely having fun up there and one or two people commented that they noticed it (unbidden, no less). We played two originals and a cover of 10k Maniacs "These Are Days". It looks like we may have two shows in January, so hopefully the ball will get rolling soon.
I don't have any hopes or ambitions for our band, I'm just so happy to be creating and making music again. Every one of those basslines I play is MINE. I wrote them, I polished them, I created them. And when I play them for people, simple though they may be, it's me I'm putting out there. Don't worry, I'm not offended if you don't like the songs, I'm just happy to have something that's an extension of me floating out in the air and into your ears. That's why I love making music. It's like speaking a beautiful language that can express things where words fall short.
Last night "The 83" played our ward's Christmas party. It wasn't that big a deal, but it was 300 people who at least didn't throw their catered dinners at us. I came away from it feeling sparked. We played well, played tight, and I felt good about my stage presence and energy. I was genuinely having fun up there and one or two people commented that they noticed it (unbidden, no less). We played two originals and a cover of 10k Maniacs "These Are Days". It looks like we may have two shows in January, so hopefully the ball will get rolling soon.
I don't have any hopes or ambitions for our band, I'm just so happy to be creating and making music again. Every one of those basslines I play is MINE. I wrote them, I polished them, I created them. And when I play them for people, simple though they may be, it's me I'm putting out there. Don't worry, I'm not offended if you don't like the songs, I'm just happy to have something that's an extension of me floating out in the air and into your ears. That's why I love making music. It's like speaking a beautiful language that can express things where words fall short.
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