Inane mumblings

I find that when confronted with an uncomfortable situation, it's best to say something completely random and silly, preferably from a movie made in the 1980's. However, it's important to note that when quoting movies, you AVOID the evil that is Monty Python, Princess Bride, Napoleon Dynamite, or any other overly popular movie in LDS circles. The only major exception would possibly be Office Space, which I don't think can possibly be quoted too much. While primping in the vestry, waiting for the wedding to start, I heard one of Aud's friends say something about being the gatekeeper and keeping me from seeing her, so I naturally replied with:

Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

They stared at me like I'd sprouted a new head right at that moment, out of my shoulder. I kind of wished Zannah had been there, she would have laughed a lot.

The Wedding: postgame report

Everything went better than planned. It was an ultimate best case scenario. I'll tell you all about it when we get home.

Highlights:

The service! So sweet and wonderful.
Our friends all came! Emily Potter took a bus from MONTANA, and suprised me in my basement the day before!
The food at Sanborn's! I had the vegetarian lasagna! It was wonderful!
The cake! It was awesome!
The music! Jai and his jazz trio set the perfect mood.
My beautiful bride, Audrey. I'm so in love with her.

I'm getting married in the morning...

I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Pull out the stopper,
Let's have a whopper!
But get me to the church on time.
I've got to be there in the morning,
Spruced up and looking in my prime,
Girls come and kiss me,
Show how you'll miss me,
But get me to the church on time.
If I am flying,
Then shoot me down,
If I am wooing,
Get her out of town!
Oh, I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Kick up a rumpus,
But don't lose the compass
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
For Gawd's sake,
Get me to the church, on time!

'mo Prison

First thing I noticed about prison? It's clean. The only place I've ever worked at that was cleaner would be the BYU art museum. If you read the introduction to the facility I copied below here, you'll notice that all inmates have to work... which means that there's lots of janitors and groundskeepers... honestly the place is cleaner than most church buildings I've been to, and when you consider that 600 men live there, that's a pretty decent achievement.

There's funny rules. I can't wear denim or blue (that's what the inmates wear), and I'm not allowed to intervene or dicipline or anything (a major change from my last social work job). It makes this a sweet opportunity to actually focus on just being a counselor, not merely a babysitter... we have the department of corrections for that. I'm not allowed to wear a tie, since it's a handy weapon.

Next reaction: these are nice guys. Most of them want to be in the program there. Naturally there's the occasional flareup, but it's very different from the adolescent facility I worked at. It's funny to think that I can get a room of 60+ mentally ill and addict felons to behave better than the kids at Northwest. Interestingly enough, there's not a lot of difference between the populations. My boss says the only differences are 20-30 years, facial hair, and a felony.

Anyway, I'm really tired... and there's too much more to say.

This is where my office is.

(from the website)

"Columbia River Correctional Institution (CRCI) is a 540 bed minimum security facility which was constructed on a 26 acre site in Northeast Portland. Located in the largest metropolitan area of the state, this facility is a combined restitution, alcohol/drug treatment center, and release facilty. The facility provides a full range of correctional services and programs which directly support the Department of Corrections primary mission. These include: A 50 bed residential Alcohol and Drug Treatment Program, called Turning Point, and a 50 bed dual-diagnosis Mental Health Treatment Unit, called Bridgepoint, operating under a contract with a private provider. CRCI also has basic adult education, life skills and job readiness training. Restitution and Community Service work programs for 400 inmates, with assignment to public service crews. The institution employs 120 FTE general funded staff and approximately 50 staff provided under contracted services. CRCI has strong "community oriented" programming for inmates and utilizes a large number of community volunteers in its programs. Inmates residing at Columbia River Correctional Institution are required and expected to work. To that end, work crews are formed and subsequently employed by many public agencies, organizations and private businesses throughout the greater Tri-County area."

That's the basic intro to the facility, I'll now write a reaction and feelings entry... somehow I think keeping them separate is a good idea at the moment.