A sign of the apocalypse

Sigh... I have a cell phone now.

I feel so dirty.

Yeah, that was me...

So, David Haines. I haven't seen you in about eleven or twelve years, and there you were across from me at Starbucks. I was inside with the fiance, and you were outside having a smoke (I thought you were planning on being a doctor, tsk-tsk). We were about three or four feet apart, though separated by glass. I don't blame you for not reconizing me, though. I'm about 75 lbs heavier than I was in high school, an inch or two taller, I have a beard now, and my hair is about a foot longer. Even some of my old BYU friends don't recognize me now. I'm sorry I didn't jump up, run outside and say hello to you, I wanted to finish my beverage first. Before I could, you got up and walked away, then got into your BMW 5 series and drove off. Of course I thought about how we used to hang in high school, and some of the people we used to run with, like Jeff, and Paul, and John... and things that happened, all the typical high school drama. It seemed important then, I guess.

All I remember now is how prideful and smart we all thought we were, and how smart we really weren't. I guess for me half of it was faking it. I acted like I was confident, even cocky, and never showed that I was afraid of being a loser. I'd have rather been called an arrogant jerk than a loser any day. I'd have rather been thought to be promiscuous than thought to be undesirable. So much time wasted in worrying about what you thought, Dave, or what others though about me. So much time saying or pretending that I didn't, when the truth was quite different. I'm sure I wasn't a very good actor then. I'm even worse now. I think that might be why I decided to give the whole authenticity thing a try.

Did you conquer the world? Did any of us? We all thought we were such hot shit because we were in IB, or had school come easy to us, or could read Thoreau and understand it before we were old enough to get drafted. I already knew I was going to be out of town for my 10th year high school reunion that was taking place in two days, but this little bit of karma was totally unexpected. I'm kind of sorry I didn't jump up and go say hi or something... but after you'd left I realized... after a few years of saying I didn't care about what happened in high school, and saying that none of it mattered... somehow it became so. I haven't thought about high school in a long time. After you left, I turned to my fiance and said, "I'll have to tell you about high school and my friends sometime..."

Then again, maybe I won't.

Good morning starshine, the earth says hello!

Pron for Poe

once upon a midnight dreary,
while i pron surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark,
suddenly there came a warning,
and my heart was filled with mourning,
mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered,
" give me back my free hardcore!"
..... quoth the server, 404!

Why we do performance art

It seems like after every performance art night we have, we look at each other differently. It makes sense because we've changed our worlds.

We want to connect
but it's not cool
it's not cool to connect
if we wanted to be cool we'd talk about our clothes or mtv
or we'd try to be hipster cool and talk about how uncool other people's clothes or mtv are.
so why are we afraid to really go get what we want
why are we afraid to do what we want... connect?

...there is an equal and opposite reaction.

So as it turns out, the car not starting the other night was because the camshaft got broken. After being told that it would be a $5700 repair, naturally I direected them toward the hairiest and fattest parts of my ass they outght to be kissing. So now I have a new house, a new wife to be, and I need to get a new car. Alas poor gigmobile, I knew ye.

So...

So here's the thing. The ring I had ordered arrived, and about an hour ago, I asked Audrey to marry me. She said yes (terribly decent of her), and so we'll be getting hitched in November.

Crazy, eh?

Let’s get real, let’s get heavy, till the water breaks the levee

So... In continuing with my violation of Iron-blog policies, I have had many developments in my love life as of late. Well, it's not usually my style to announce this kind of thing... but I seem to be dating someone. Her name is Audrey, she had anime hair, and I am quite smitten... what can I say. I guess I could simply quote Prince and say,

"Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
Look 4 the purple banana
'Till they put us in the truck, let's go! "

She used to have anime hair, now it's more of a pixie-pigtail look. We got back together some months ago... and things have just kind of kept going and going. I wasn't really at a place in life where I expected to find love again (then again, what do any of us really get what we expect out of life, eh?) So preparations are being made, though things aren't "official" yet. What the deuce does "official" mean, anyway? I guess my Pa was right: "If there ain't no ring, it ain't no thang".

Well then. We'll just have to see about that, eh?

Real Life, Real Problems

I think one reason I haven't written as much in this lately is because I've been exploring newer forms of artistic creation. Another is that there's a LOT of real life things going on right now with the move and the love life... and I promised I wouldn't make this blog a life travelogue.

For now, I'm recinding that. It's for an odd reason why, though.

I have sleep apnea. Well, I'm not officially diagnosed, but I'm in the middle of having a bunch of tests done and waiting to schedule a sleep study. For the uninformed, sleep apnea is s sleeping disorder In my case, it's been getting worse.

"People with sleep apnea stop breathing for 10 to 30 seconds at a time while they are sleeping. These short stops in breathing can happen up to 400 times every night! If you have sleep apnea, the periods of not breathing may make you wake up from deep sleep. If you are waking up all night long, you aren't getting enough rest from your sleep.

There are two kinds of sleep apnea: obstructive apnea and central apnea. Obstructive sleep apnea is the most common type. Nine out of 10 people with sleep apnea have this type of apnea. If you have obstructive apnea, something is blocking the passage or windpipe (called the trachea) that brings air into your body. You keep trying to breathe, but you can't get enough air because of the blockage. Your windpipe might be blocked by your tongue, tonsils or uvula (the little piece of flesh that hangs down in the back of your throat). It might also be blocked by a large amount of fatty tissue in the throat or even by relaxed throat muscle"

It's 6:15 am now. I haven't been able to sleep for more than a half an hour at a go tonight. I keep nodding off at the keyboard. I can't keep living this way. I'm so tired all the TIME. Anyway, I'm gonna crash for a BIT.