But still the emptiness persists
Perhaps this is as good as it gets?
Though I've given up fighting, all my awful bad habits
And I try to live deliberately
Or at least with no regrets
Sometimes my life is beautiful
Sometimes I just can't bear it.
Yes is this as good as it gets.

I'm not as smart as I let on sometimes. Ever do something that you know isn't really that good an idea, but you want to do it anyway... and when it blows up in your face... you don't really have anyone but yourself to blame. And you sit down on a curb and say, "well, you're really quite pathetic, aren't you?" It's silly to do the same things and expect different results. It seems to be true that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I don't want it to be, but very rarely have things turned out how I wanted.

Oh yeah, happy birthday to me.