Dateline: Adub

"Famed cynic Adub the Anonymous Bassist has been missing in action since last posting his announcement of unemployment. Apparently shaken and withdrawn, Adub emerged from seclusion and went outside yesterday to make his first public appearance since losing gainful employment. When asked about his lack of posting by our correspondent, Adub laughed, shat in the camera, bottled our correspondent in the temple and invited us all to bite his ass."

I hate that bloody McDonald's "I'm lovin' it" theme. It's hip, it's urban, it's happening, and I hate it's dark vile heart. What, like McDonalds NEEDS some urban cool hiphop theme to connect to the younger generation? The thing just reeks of some marketing department's two drink minimum power lunch. Do they think that adding someone going "Yeeah yeeah" in the backbeat they'll connect to some magical as-yet untapped marketing segment? Ooh, the new xtreme McDonalds. Listen, I love real rap music, but this is about as lame as Mr. Jiggy Fly from the Geico commercials. If I am out running errands and I hear Usher and Lil' Jon hawking Taco Bell "WHAT?!? YEEAEEEHH!?! CHALUUPAAHHH!?!"... you have my permission to just shoot me in the head.

So much for liquidity.

"We're sorry but a decision has been reached to end your assignment here at Novellus" That's corporate speak for " We were shorthanded for two weeks, and we brought you on as a temp and strung you along, and now we're gonna chuck ya ". Bastards. The hours were lousy, the money good, and the management couldn't lead a wino to booze. *shrugs* I'm going to go swear a lot.

And in other news, random girl chooses chocolate over man.

IGN is reporting that last night was singles night at a San Francisco Giants baseball game, and a 'The Bachelorette' type contest was held. The winning bachelor was given a choice to either take the beautiful, young, brunette bachelorette out on an all expenses paid date, or receive a Playstation 2. Naturally, the bachelor took the PS2, and 'The men in the audience cheered.'" The article notes: "Looks like when it comes down to a choice between video games and female attention, these days, videogames are winning out."

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sony.

On a strange side note, I am remodeling my bathroom, and am using my father's bathroom... SO I kiped some of his old man hair gel, and I smell like my dad now. I always thought it was a clever cocktail of cheaper cologne than I like + anti-inflamatory cremes... but nope, Dad's smell comes from his hair gel. To be honest, this is really wierding me out.

And you may find yourself... Working in the Logistics department...

Today is payday. My first in a long time. I am pleased to be going liquid in the funds department. So before my celebratory coke-and-whores spree this evening, I think I will post a little story about work.

Imagine a warehouse with bins with every computer part imaginable, and to build a computer you have to go with carts and bins, and pull every single part that goes into making that computer, then wheel them into the next room where guys in bunny suits like at the end of E.T. build the computer. Now imagine the computer has robotic arms and platforms so it can build things, and is roughly the size of a few refrigerators and costs 3-7 million dollars, and the bins of parts making up the kits take up four or five 72" five shelf racks. That's what I do... and that's about as exciting as I can make it sound. One of my responsibilities is to receive in incoming parts, organize them, and then pull the parts needed to make up the kits.

So at this job, I like to be left alone so I can get stuff done. Yesterday we had a ton of boxes and things to receive. My bosses boss calls us over, gestures to the large amount there and says ( I kid you not) "We've got a heavy load today guys, we'll need to get it done" I didn't say anything.. but 1) We were the very people who dragged all of the stuff off of the semi's in the first place. Do we know it's there??? uh, hyeah. 2) It's not like we're having a party, all we do is receive all day, it's not like there's this mythical overdrive gear that we can magically get everything done in. 3) Did we really need to be stopped to be told that? Sometimes, Dilbert is really too close to the truth.

In Praise of Band of Brothers

I think I will make my "in praise of" entries a regular thing. I intend to make it a little archive of stuff that I think is just the bee's knees. Since I'm a big fat nerd, I'm sure video games, movies, and books will most likely figure regularly. This week, I am writing in praise of Band Of Brothers, the HBO miniseries. When someone asks me what my favorite movie is, most of the time my answer is "Band of Brothers".

Produced by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, and based on the bestseller by Stephen E. Ambrose, the epic 10-part miniseries Band of Brothers tells the story of Easy Company, 506th Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division, U.S. Army. Drawn from interviews with survivors of Easy Company, as well as soldiers' journals and letters, Band of Brothers chronicles the experiences of these men who knew extraordinary bravery and extraordinary fear. They were an elite rifle company parachuting into France early on D-Day morning, fighting in the Battle of the Bulge and capturing Hitler's Eagle's Nest at Berchtesgaden. They were also a unit that suffered 150 percent casualties, and whose lives became legend.

Imagine Saving Private Ryan, where the characters are developed fully. It's a completely unique experience to have men you've grown attached to over the course of four or five episodes get killed in a brutal artillery shelling outside of Bastogne. It's also heartrending to realize that this isn't dramatic timing on the part of a director... this is what really happened. On DVD, each "act" is prefaced by clips of interviews of the actual men that we're watching the actors portray. It's amazing to see the an actor portray Richard Winters on screen, then see the actual man himself talking about what he thought and felt at the time.

I know it's not really for everybody, but to me it's great drama, and more than anything Hollywood is making, it's a fully developed story with fully developed characters. I guess it takes 10 hours to do that for me. But then, I prefer the extended versions of Lord Of the Rings. Give it a rent, watch an episode or two a day, and then be prepared to want to watch it all over again.

The Cafe d'Seville

So once a month a group of friends and acquaintances gather for the Seville Cafe, a performance art night. We gather, share art, munch, and disperse. All are encouraged to exit their respective comfort zones, so if you're an accomplished musician, then you should do something other than music, and so it goes. Last night was nice. I have shared several times before, so I relegated myself to more of a supporting role, and played bass to back my friend Emily's guitar on a song she had written about Brice, her on-again, off-again (currently off) love. It was reasonably well received. I think the reason so many of us love it is that we are all at various stages of life, but whether you're still young and a student, or older and have a mortgage, the soul still needs to be expressed. That's something all of my friends here share and have in common: soul. A soul's most innate need is to connect. With family, friends, lovers, God... something. It's nice to find people to connect with.

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

Just got done watching the Chappelle show rerun with Wayne Brady doing his "Training Day" parody. I laughed my butt off. Nothing makes me laugh more than Wayne Brady "stopping at the ATM" , pulling up to a street corner while his hoes gather around the car and he gets his take... one of them is short and he looks at her all hard and says, "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"... funniest skit ever.

"White people like Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X" - Dave Chappelle

How to get out of doing things you don't want to do, and the legend of the Tampon Walrus.

So we were having a discussion today at work about how so and so has to go to his mother's for dinner but he doesn't want to, but of course you can't tell your mom you don't want to have dinner with her...... and how so and so hates it how his wife makes him go and buy ice cream in the middle of the night, but she's pregnant so of course he does it anyway... and I had to share with them the classic man secret: When asked to do something you don't want to do by a woman, do a piss poor job, then feign stupidity.

"What honey? You mean butter pecan ISN'T the same as toasted almond? Awww, I'm sorry sweetie." You then are deemed incompetent to perform the simple task, and next time she wants it, she'll do it herself......... which is what you wanted in the first place. They looked at me like I was Robert E. Lee laying out some unheard of strategem.

This served me well last week. I get tired sometimes of being a gofer into my Insignificant Other's purse. I hate rooting through it trying to find gum or something, when she could be doing it herself. Of course, I'm not going to say no, that would involve us having "a talk", and nobody wants that. So last week when asked to fetch some gum out of her purse, I reluctantly started rooting through all the crap she has in there, like a pig hunting for truffles. Naturally, my hands run over cosmetics, and a number of feminine products. I then realized my way out of this situation forever. I decided that tampons stuck in my gums on each side of my mouth protruding downward made me look a bit like a walrus. Flopping around and making walrus like noises completed the picture. Needless to say, this was not very well received. She... was not amused. I seem to have had my purse privileges revoked. Which... is what I wanted in the first place. And now you know the true legend of the Tampon Walrus.

Here is A Muppet News Flash...

I am gainfully employed.

Yay.

I had my first day of work today, I worked 10 hours and am really wiped out. I work in the shipping, receiving, kitting, and Q&A section of Novellus.

In their own words: "Novellus Systems, Inc. manufactures, markets and services advanced automated wafer fabrication systems for thin film deposition, surface preparation and CMP. Our chemical vapor deposition (CVD), physical vapor deposition (PVD), copper Electrofill™, photoresist and residue removal and CMP systems are being used worldwide for volume production of high-quality semiconductors at the lowest overall cost. "

Basically I work in a plant that makes the machines that make computer chips. It seems to pay alright, and the company is growing. I work about 5 minutes from my house, a major bonus. I work 50-55 hour weeks, a mild minus. However 10-15 hours of overtime a week isn't bad, though. I am very confident in my abilities, and I think I can learn this job well and exceed expectations there... but I am a tiny bit worried on getting worn down or burnt out. Right now, I'm wasted. Good night all.

Oh, and the dress code is casual... I like the fact that I can wear shorts to work this summer.

Ok, a little bit less of a nerdy turn.

The Ghost Towns of Chernobyl

This site is hauntingly interesting. It's photo journal of Elena, the daughter of a Ukranian nuclear physicist, and as such she is able to get passes to ride through the Chernobyl "dead zone". 18 years ago one of the reactors in the Chernobyl nuclear power plant had a massive failure and meltdown. It's believed 300,000 to 400,000 people died as a result of that accident. The area around the plant is severely contaminated, and pretty much uninhabitable. When Elena goes on her tours, she has to take a geiger counter anywhere she goes to insure that she isn't overexposed to radiation.

This site is amazing in how plain and honest it is. Greenpeace would have a field day with it if it were theirs, but Elena is simple and straightforward. I even find the english mistakes endearing. To me it's an interesting example in the hubris of humanity. We are indeed lords of all we survey, but it's amazing how foolishly we can wipe ourselves out and plow our own fields under with salt (or deadly radiation).

I think it would be interesting to meet a member of the Siuslaw or Clatsop or Tillamook or any of the myriad small native American tribes that used to populate the Portland Metro Area... and see what they think of the fine metropolis we've built. Don't get me wrong, I love this city, but it's amazing how an entire people can be utterly wiped out. I wonder if their ghosts wander unseen around us completely bewildered by all that we have replaced them with. It makes me wonder what the land around me was like before... before we came. Looking at the pictures of the villages and towns around Chernobyl, you can see how many of the apartments and roads are almost frozen in time on the day the area was finally exacuated. I wonder what the ghosts of Chernobyl must think.

In Praise of Final Fantasy Tactics

For an unemployed guy like me, videogames help to fill the late hours and in-between times. I'm particularly fond of older RPG and adventure games. Currently, probably my favorite game of all time is Square's "Final Fantasy Tactics". For Square, Final Fantasy Tactics was an experiment turned utopia. It's unlike the traditional console role playing games that make up the Final Fantasy series, instead bringing strategic, tactical combat to the center of gameplay. Imagine a completely interactive chess game. Recruit a squad of soldiers, give them unique jobs that evoke special abilities and characteristics, and go to battle evil.

It's not like Tactics started the strategy/RPG genre -- not by a long shot -- but it definitely took strides towards perfecting it. Games like Ogre Battle and Shining Force were of the same ilk, but were very niche in their audience. Tactics really didn't have a big following, either, and was originally released in limited supply. I bought mine at the same time I bought the play station in 1998, but in later years when supplies were scarce, you could see them on Ebay at prices well over 50 dollars. I never considered selling mine. Not even once. Eventually it sold enough to warrant a republishing and price reduction, and can be found usually for about 15 bucks.

This is a game you can literally and easily plunk 300 hours into and only barely be scratching the surface. It takes 60 or so hours to play through normally, 80 to do a chunk of levelling up, and easily 100 hours to complete all the side quests. Since characters have different job classes and combinations of skills, the game offers several replay possibilities. Since it can be found for between $15 and $20, that averages out to about $0.06 per hour of enjoyment. Not too shabby, huh?

So, I make guitars and all.

I am a budding luthier, that is to say, a maker of string instruments. It's a hobby that I'm hoping to turn into a side business. I make electric guitars and basses I can make just about anything, but I usually stick to standard body styles. Currently I offer several basic models of guitar and bass, but if someone out there has a specific look or sound they're going for... "I want a fretless jazz bass just like Jaco Pastorius...", I can easily accomodate that. Where this leaves you, Constant Reader... is I need customers. So I'll toss out this offer. While I'm just getting going, I'll build anything for the cost of parts plus 20%. What this would mean is a handmade instrument at less than a commercial one would cost at the store. I'm a craftsman, an artist, and a musician, not a businessman.

Anyone know much about these kinds of things?

Fiddling... fidgeting... just can't leave well enough alone

After some well placed criticism of the resolution of my blog, I went to try and make some adjustments, and ended up pretty much screwing things up. At the same time, my templates wouldn't upload, and basically things kind of got shot to heck. Needless to say, I'm still fooling around with the layout, and definitely the current color scheme will not be kept... but oh well, it seems to be working again... thank goodness for small favors.

Edit... Okay, I'm getting the hang of the way the template is coded now... I think I have close to the look I was wanting... I think I have the link and resolution issues fixed... any other thoughts, or snide comments, by all means, shout out below.

Sushi is like manna unto me.

Went for sushi last night with some friends and friends of friends. Good times. It's hard to explain how comforting sushi is to me. I was a missionary in Japan for two years, and I love most things asian (strangely, I don't have a thing for asian girls, I must be defective) BUt I missed it when I came back to the states. It really got me down, like I had cut off a part of me and left it 7000 miles away. I was living in Utah, which not only doesn't have good sushi places... it doesn't have much in the way of good anything places. Being a poor student without a car eliminated the going to Salt Lake option. So I went home on Christmas break from school to Portland. My father offered to take me out for sushi. I picked out a promising looking place over in Beaverton. As it turned out, it was a kaiten zushi, the style of sushi bar with the conveyor belt where you take whatever looks promising. Nigiri, Maki, even little extras like prawn tempura and japanese style jello were on there. I ate my fill and found not only my stomach being filled, but another empty place inside of me. It's silly, but when I have sushi at a good place, it reminds me of being there.

Last night was no exception. The maguro (red ahi tuna) was particularly tasty. I always like taking people who are new to sushi becasue I know how great it is, but I also know how reluctant people are to try something new. I have a few basic things I tell people who are closeminded about it.

1) No, it's not all slabs of raw fish. Sushi means "with vinegared rice". Saying sushi is like saying "mexican food". It's a whole branch of cuisine, not a single dish. Many sushi dishes have cooked meat (anything with shrimp, prawn, scallop, crab, or lobster, for instance)

2) Try things and actually find out if you like it or not. Not even a japanese person likes it all. I don't like everything. For instance, I find lots of my friends like eel. It's barbequed and has a tangy sauce it's marinated in, which to me is a bit strong but most of my gaijin friends seem to like. This is the area that's the true mark of a person. If someone is willing to try new stuff, and not begrudgingly like Calvin being forced to eat a pasta dish he's unfamiliar with, they are someone I might get along with.

3) This is GOOD food! It's incredibly healthy, and even when you're loaded up full on it, you won't have the same near death feeling I usually get when I eat three or four cheeseburgers.

And somehow I managed to make my date and time settings declare jihad on me... bloody language settings...

Other prospective titles.

While I was trying to figure out what to use as the ID for my little blog, and hence part of it's web address, I was brainstorming with Zan... Here is the conversation in which this blog got it's ID, as well as some of the various names that were tossed out:

jaymz6677 (7:26:04 PM): hmm... satanic teddy bear?
zannah2100 (7:26:14 PM): That'd be a good one.
jaymz6677 (7:26:23 PM): hardcore prawn?
zannah2100 (7:26:32 PM): Nice....
jaymz6677 (7:26:46 PM): weapon of ass destruction?
zannah2100 (7:26:56 PM): A little long to remember.
jaymz6677 (7:27:33 PM): sigh.
jaymz6677 (7:27:35 PM): hmm
jaymz6677 (7:28:39 PM): lesbian haircut?
jaymz6677 (7:28:54 PM): Pickled Baggins
zannah2100 (7:29:03 PM): elephant balls
jaymz6677 (7:29:14 PM): Ashamed Crack
zannah2100 (7:29:22 PM): Ooooooh... I like that.
jaymz6677 (7:30:01 PM): my name I use on gaming boards is: Abort, Retry, Fail?
zannah2100 (7:30:07 PM): That's good.
jaymz6677 (7:30:19 PM): MucusDragon
zannah2100 (7:30:22 PM): brb - need water.
jaymz6677 (7:30:44 PM): PunchyLovepony
jaymz6677 (7:31:02 PM): Ass Hat
jaymz6677 (7:31:36 PM): Limp guy
zannah2100 (7:31:52 PM): Any of those would be fine.
jaymz6677 (7:32:14 PM): You know this whole conversation is going in.
jaymz6677 (7:32:24 PM): CoagulatingPrince
zannah2100 (7:32:28 PM): The whole conversation, or just the stuff you've said?
jaymz6677 (7:33:08 PM): Zen Mormon... now THAT'S me.
jaymz6677 (7:33:28 PM): Anonymous bassist
zannah2100 (7:33:37 PM): Anonymous bassist is my vote.
jaymz6677 (7:35:55 PM): now, this is the address, ,not the name, correct?
zannah2100 (7:36:03 PM): Right.
zannah2100 (7:36:15 PM): So it'd be anonymousbassist.blogspot.com
jaymz6677 (7:38:59 PM): anonymous bassist is availible
zannah2100 (7:39:06 PM): Then go for that.
jaymz6677 (7:39:22 PM): you're getting bored with my indecision, huh
zannah2100 (7:39:31 PM): No.
zannah2100 (7:39:38 PM): I just like anonymous bassist.
jaymz6677 (7:39:44 PM): I do too.
jaymz6677 (7:39:53 PM): hm, ok... anonymous bassist it is.

In hindsight, I didn't blink an eye when she suggested elephant balls to me... and now I'm wondering what it's hidden meaning might be.

Well, I was groping around for some generic "getting to know you" BS, and I guess this will suffice. (Stolen From Zannah's blog:)

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"Rolls of parchment littered that part of his desk that was not taken up..."
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
A lamp, actually.
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Kung Fu, starring David Carradine.
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
9:47 pm
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
9:59 pm
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My own heart beat... and the grasshopper.
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Earlier this afternoon, I was bringing the trashcan in from the curb.
8: Before you came to this web site, what did you look at?
The hair on the back of my knuckles
9: What are you wearing?
clothing?
10: Did you dream last night?
Perhaps.
11: When did you last laugh?
The last time someone said something amusing, I imagine.
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
It looks like water based paint.
13: Seen anything weird lately?
No, not especially wierd, no.
14: What is the last film you saw?
What Dreams May Come
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Either a new car, or a really, really classy hooker.
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
That I really do like you?
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Either eliminate all body hair from all people in the world, or maybe feed the hungry. Acutally, I think anyone that wants a good full time job should have one availible to them, but then again the body hair thing is pretty appealing. Especially for you.
19: Do you like to dance?
Nope.
20: George Bush: is he really doing Dick Cheney?
Is George Bush actually doing... anything?
21a: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
Female Offspring #1
21b: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
Male Offspring #1
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
Of course

Well, at a small amount of encouragement from Zannah, I am starting this blog. I am used to keeping a writing journal, but mostly I'm hoping to entertain myself and you and have a few laughs along the way.

Well, after some hemming and hawing, looks like this will be the basic look and feel of this page for the unforseeable future.