How I view relationships, or: how to lose a girl in ten days.

I made a complete idiot of myself tonight. I was chatting with someone, and when they expressed concern over where our chat and relations were headed, and I made the all time genius comment of, "I'm not thinking about anything much more than "I wonder if talking to you is this good in person" , and then a comment that I found her attractive. She took it to meant I don't think about her at all in the long term.

I'm such a freaking idiot.

See, here's the thing. I've been in a few relationships where things have gone great... but I get so caught up in how awesome the future can be that I forget to tend to the present, and I fall flat on my face. One time I clicked with a girl so well and thought "man, we're going to be great together!" only to be a total space case on the first date and had nothing interesting to say... naturally, there wasn't a second date.

I TRY not to fantasize about the happily ever after part, no matter how much I wish or hope for it... because I want to make sure I make it to the next step (whatever that may be in any given situation). It's easy to fantasize about moving in and being together and then being a dud on a first date.. or saying something insensetive like I did. Mostly I try to keep my eyes focused on the trail in front of me, not at the top of the mountain.

So that's what I think about when I meet a new girl. I wish I could have said it like that. Of course I didn't... and I'm not taking bets on the odds of even a first date there. sigh. It's been a bad week for me, sorry about the low quality of my recent posts.